6 substitutes for the overcrowded gym this January
December 19, 2016 Ashley 0 Comments
So, you said you were planning to hit the gym the second the second of January arrives.
But, admit it. You’re already doubting your own best laid plans. Why? Because you’re dreading who we all do. The NYRDS. (Phonetically, that’s “nerds” – my latest acronym for New Year’s Resolution Delinquents.) See, these’re the people who crowd to the gym en masse, January 2nd, like a horde of Pokémon zombies chasing one of those fuzzy digital cat raccoons. And they take up all of the machines for hours – half of whom don’t know how to use ’em – vexing you out’ve exercising at all when you can’t get in a treadmill session edgewise.
(Pictured: a member of sweatimus species, praying the invading sofa surfimus at the squat machine suffers a doing-it-wrong injury quickly, so that he can reclaim his most prized, brawn awarding resource.)
These people are usually your excuse for saying “I’ll just wait until…” But let’s don’t blame them. They’re just trying to carve out a weight loss path for themselves (even if half’ve them might quit come next week). Because, new year’s news flash: there are other options to stay on top’ve weight loss. That’s right. I’m here to save your day (and waistline) with a list of alternative forms of aerobics and strengthening that you can do that aren’t the boring gym.
Starting with…
1. The dojo.
Don’t fight some massive, abstract crowds of faces you want to punch. Fight and punch one person at a time. Literally. Boxing gloves and all. When I first joined my local mixed martial arts academy about a year and some change ago, I was slender because I ran a lot. However, I also had a bit of skinny fat to rid yet. And I was weak. Fast forward to nearly 2017, and not only am I stronger, but I’m leaner. Tighter. A better, fitter, me. (Plus, with increased strength, I can run farther – which keeps me on my weight loss and maintenance game.) Granted, I still might not be able to resist getting flipped by my 300 pound pal while grappling (my wrestling game needs work), but you can bet your butt I’ll outlast his when it comes to endurance. Why? ’cause I train there on the regular in addition to running – which is another fab alternative to the gym.
2. Trail running
But, long before the dojo, I started running trails. Unlike the treadmill, I’m not on flat land, so I’m constantly working an array of different muscles. Unlike the treadmill, I’m not constantly running into a reflection I’m judging – or comparing myself to the hotter chick on the neighboring machine. Unlike the treadmill, I don’t have my caloric stats and countdowns constantly taunting me. (Are we seeing a trend here?) And, finally, also unlike the treadmill – I’ll let you guess how much it costs… or how long I have to wait to get moving.
3. Orange theory
Or, you could try this fun form’ve boutique fitness a patient of mine recently told me about. It’s this cardio rate monitored training that keeps you in what they call the “target zone”. That just means you up your metabolism and energy expenditure. But, as it’s a stellar mix of machines with nightclub vibes and tunes, this place is anything but your typical, brutal sweat sesh. In fact, I’m told that it’s more akin to a night on the town. Except, at anywhere from 500 to 1,000 calories per hour long class, you’re turning into a hottie instead’ve just getting “turnt”.
4. Barre studio
No, no… I don’t mean going to the bar to recuperate from dealing with your in-laws who just left after several harrowing holiday weeks at your house. I mean, by all means, do that if you need to on New Years. But tomorrow? Work it off at Barre – the boutique fitness class that combines Pilates, ballet, and a bunch of other bad azz activities into a single, leg quaking, body shaking, gyrate-off-that-jiggle class. All of which are awesome for dropping weight and lifting your bum.
5. Pole dancing class
Then again, you could turn that horizontal ballet pole perpendicular and try pole dancing. Oh, yeah. That’s right. It’s not just for girls trying to “make their way through college” anymore. Indeed, this exotic exercise has been popularized a lot more recently. In fact, as more chicks try it out to get in touch with their femme side while tightening up (not to mention strengthening – there’s more than mere skank power that goes into staying upside down on a pole for prolonged periods’ve time), it’s become more widely accepted. And, after a glance at the practice, minus the stilettos, you can see how it’s more of a gymnastic (and less nasty than the original stigma insinuates), legit activity.
6. Yoga
While many don’t think of yoga is being a weight loss method, it actually is. Especially in the long run. In fact, regardless of what other fitness methods you might employ to lose weight (like your strength training or cardio), yoga is an excellent supplemental means to help you keep up with your weight loss goals along way. By getting you in tune with your body and moderating your stress levels, the tendency to eat less (and to eat healthier increases), making it easier to reach those goals. And that’s not just for the first week of 2017, but all the way through.
So, my loves, please avert being even worse than the NYRDS by using them as excuses to do nothing til February. (Which, we all know translates to “never”). Start signing up and get an activity commitment on deck, stat. I know, I know. You must loathe me right now. I’ve officially murdered your usual New Year’s excuse by providing these amazing, available alternatives. But, I challenge you to try any of these for a month or two. And, after that, I guarantee – not only won’t you be sorry – but you’ll be thanking me. And the only excuse you’ll be looking for – is one that can get you out of all your other commitments, so that you can spend more time on your newfound passion for the next 365 days.
Whereupon I’ll have a brand new list of crowded gym shoo-ins at the ready.