How To Down A Gallon of Water Each Day – Without Drowning

August 16, 2018 Ashley 0 Comments

Okay, I admit it.

We’ve said “drink more water”. Over and over. But that is a bit vague of us, isn’t it? In a world of quick tips at your fingertips, who has time to sit around and ponder what quantity of agua we should each be drinking? Does it differ from person to person? How do you calculate that amount? When should you drink it? No one wants to put forth that sort’ve research effort to find out. And why should you? Especially when you’ve got a full day of #tbt posts to arrange, soundcloud playlists to update, and multitudes of pantless cat pictures to peruse? So, I’m gonna go out on a limb here. I’m gonna to tell you the hydration regimen that’s kept my weight down over the past four years (alongside a plant based diet). And it’s the same one I see other clean eaters do too. Not only has it kept the adipose at bay and bowels active (TMI unless you want confirmation that your intestinal issues’ll probably be resolved); but, in addition, plants paired with my seemingly excessive level of aqueous ingestion, like a fine wine, have collectively managed to make me age in a way that keeps me getting carded. That’s not a bad tandem prize to receive.

(It is work – but worth it…)

So what’s the magic amount?

About a gallon.

That’s actually a ballpark between inactive folks who can probably tolerate a liter less than that and aerobic addicts like myself. But, assuming you’re on a weight loss path (because you’re on a weight loss site), you are indeed probably pretty active, right? Working off that clean fuel you’re eating? Good! Then let’s move along to the math. What you do is either get a reusable water container or buy one of those massive packs of half liter bottles’ve water (let’s stow the plastic loathing comments for now, as it’s just for estimation purposes) and calculate based off the fact that one gallon’s between three and four liters. (Closer to four, TBH.) So, we know ya need a full gallon by the day’s end.

And, class, how many water bottles does that equal?

Just kidding. I don’t expect you to do math. That’s what I’m here for. Okay, so, let’s say you’re going for the earth murdering plastic bottles. (No shade; I’m guilty AF too.) These are each roughly a half liter. So, two of ’em is a whole liter. And since one gallon’s between three and four liters, that means we need to drink between six and eight of these badboys a day. And, yes, I know it sounds like a lot. But, for most who’ve tried it and failed and posted their horror stories, that’s just because they try to do too much in one sitting. No one’s asking you to guzzle the gallon like you’re foie gras in one sitting, silly goose. (Get it? Ahhh???) Rather, much like spacing out meals or pills, though, you’ve gotta space out your aqueous supply. Here’s how I manage.

Bottle 1: before breakfast

Bottle 2: after breakfast

Bottle 3: before my workout

Bottle 4: after my workout

Bottle 5: before lunch

Bottle 6: after lunch

Bottle 7: before dinner

Bottle 8: after dinner

Bottle 9: J/k… Just seeing if you’re paying attention…

Now, this might fluctuate if I have a lighter lunch or wake up later or head to bed earlier. But worse case scenario, I’m getting in at least six of those half liters down the hatch, daily. It sounds like a lot. But when you just make it part of your daily protocol, you stop thinking about it being such a chore you’re forced to do. What I try to think of, instead, each time I’m chugging the stuff, is how this is going to do everything those powders and glittery trending Cinderella vitamins that some E! celebrity is touting on a reality show promise to do. Except this stuff is A.) one elevevtybillionth the price of those products, and B.) actually works. Being sufficiently hydrated can indeed appease the demon in you belly begging for McBurgers. (Unless you’re SuperSize Me level hooked on the stuff.) Which means you lose weight from unnecessary calories. And being sufficiently hydrated does make you age at glacial speed. Sure, you’ll be peeing a lot. But that’s normal. That’s what you should be doing. And the inconvenience is totally worth it. At least, that’s what this chick learned after drinking the same amount I have for four years, for just a month or two:

(I tend to believe people who’ve got nada to gain by advice that’s worked for everyone else…)

So, there you have it. No mystery.

For a cheap weight loss and anti-aging secret, simply split a gallon’ve agua across your day.

(With or without whining about it).