How To Get A Body Like Viral Stripper Lilly Moon

October 9, 2018 Ashley 0 Comments

“She’s my spirit animal.”

“Hashtag: GOALS.”

“I’m totally quitting my job and doing this for the rest’ve my life instead…”

Yeah, these are just a few quotes exotic dancer Lily Moon has inspired from women all over (after homegirl went viral for eating pizza in the middle of her stripping gig). TBH, I dunno the context of this clip. (Although it does say “Happy Birthday” on the stage, so I’m guessing the b-day girl was relaxing on the job a little.) Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but think what every other woman who saw this was: 1. I want to get paid to eat pizza, and 2. I want to look that hot while I get paid to eat pizza. Unfortunately, the whole getting paid to face stuff may not come to fruition. However, we might be able to nail the whole hot body bit with some tips from the pros. Now, a year or two ago, I wrote about exactly how many calories stripping incinerates (after attending a pole dancing class and embarrassing myself thoroughly). But, let’s be honest. Pole dancing isn’t how these girls get straight-out’ve-a-RedTube-video figures. No, sirs and madams. These stripping chicks are putting in legit work off the job.

So how do we get a thread-shredder level body?

I consulted some exotic dancers to find out.

First, there’s the diet. You’ve probably heard before that you can’t outrun (or out dance, for that matter) bad snacking habits. “But Lilly’s up there munching on cheese triangles!” you may say. She sure is, friend. But you notice how she’s taking her time? Savoring every last little bite? (Instead’ve demolishing it ruthlessly like I did last time I ordered Papa John’s…) And ya notice how she also gives the last third of it away to that thirsty azz salivating bag of testosterone fan at the front, before getting back to bizz? That’s what it’s all about. Moderating. The trick is to split it up.

(#SeeWhatIDidThere)

Can’t moderate? Then do a cheat day – or night at work if you can get away with it – before resuming a routine. And when you do get back to business, hit those weights, girl. The myth about bulking up is over. Does the chick above look like the late Chyna? Nope. She’s strong, sure. But she’s still femme AF. Just ask any of those crusty panted ballbags for brains hovering at the stage, peering through hopeful pie eyes. There’s nothing manly about that dancer. And how does Lily get that Moon? With strength training. The weights don’t hafta be big; but you will wanna incorporate dumbbells of some kind into your strength training seshes. Hate lifting? Well I guarantee you don’t hate it as much as you’ll love the lifted booty you’re gonna get from it. That’s how these ladies get a posterior fit for the produce aisle. Weights. Sure, cardio is crucial to peeling off adipose layers. But that’s not how professional twerkers get Barbie level bods. How do you think they get up that pole and hold themselves? From running themselves shin splinty? From grizzly bear genetics? Nope. And it’s also not how they get those magnificent backsides (although, yes, the heels do help push stuff upward). Rather, for a taut body, ya gotta strength train. (Scaling a pole is just a fun side effect.) For example, one lady’s blog detailed her lift seshes as such:

Squats: 3 sets of 20 reps, 120-second rest between each set
Stiff-leg deadlifts: 3 sets of 10 reps, 120-second rest between each set
Rest for 5 minutes
Dumbbell lunges: 4 sets of 12 reps, 90-second rest between each set
Hanging crunches: 4 sets 90 seconds rest between sets

But when Suzy Stripper gets up that pole, she doesn’t just hang like a koala there, right? Nope. The typical stripper doesn’t sit in mid air, clinging her hamstrings, talking about how tight they are. (Although, to be fair, she might generate more pity tips.) Instead, these chicks have gotta move and be flexible like the porn star ballerinas they’re paid to be. That’s half of what makes it so aesthetically captivating to watch. We don’t want robots who look like they’ve got osteoporosis and desk gigs by day. We wanna watch ethereal aliens. Cartoon-esque vixens with aqueous frames. Liquid figures. And that’s what we get when we watch exotic dancers. Why? Because so many of them do (wait for it…) yoga in their downtime. (Particularly Ashtanga.) The plus? The practice of yoga creates an internal environment of balance and calm that makes the willpower-y stuff (like forcing a squat sesh or giving away that last bit of pizza to some rando) a little bit simpler to do.

So, yes: you can have that slice and still slay with a stripper level bod.

Usually strippers get the tips.

Thank you, ladies of the stage, for giving us a few.