Could this simple, single tip jumpstart your weight loss?

October 6, 2016 Ashley 0 Comments

Stuck in the mindset that you’ll feel better when you’re slender?

That that’s when you’ll suddenly reside inside a rom-com montage, that loops infinitely like a Vine?

That that’s when you’ll cease those Friday nights in, administering yourself Haagen Daz hot fudge facials?

Well, you’re making a big mistake, my friend.

And, before you say, “I can’t haaaalp the way I think,” allow me to intervene with my smirky “that’s B.S. and we both know it” face. See, this is typically where spiritual advisors would hop on in and say, “You’re good enough as you are. Right now.” I, on the other hand, am going to go ahead and not say that. Granted, you have the potential to be good enough. But, make no mistake, you’re not being that right now. Otherwise you wouldn’t be drowning in melted confections on your kitchen floor. What I am going to say, instead, is that what you do already have – are the tools to get you to good enough. You don’t need an overpriced e-trainer or weekly smoothie kits to get you there. You’ve got it. You’re just choosing not to use it. The thing is, at the moment, you’re waiting for some abstract, hypothetical, glistening, glee-inducing trophy on the other side’ve a locked door. But, here’s the conundrum. A clone glee trophy is the key to the legit glee trophy. It’s what gets you through the door. You’ve just gotta be willing to create that clone trophy before that can actually happen.

And what’s that trophy, exactly?

“Fun”, says Huffpost writer, Sarah Jenks.

Admittedly, when I first read her article on funning your way to fitness, I thought it might just be the tritest fitness tip I’d ever encountered. Fun? How can I have fun if I’m overweight and hating my body? Then, as she explained herself, I realized just how right homegirl was. After all, I was doing half these things already. For example, if you’ve got a craving that’s got nada to do with authentic hunger, she says to find a fun shoo-in. I do this all the time. Ever notice that a hankering disappears when you spend some time playing with your makeup ’til you feel pretty? Or waste time Snap-o-gramming? (That’s what I call it when I lose two hours of my life, cycling between IG and Snapchat.) Or put on Pandora and polka with your Pekingese across your yoga mat? No? That last one’s just me? Alright. Fair enough. But these are just a handful’ve fun alternatives.

(Protip: if being fun-energied makes people love your face even though it reminds them of lies and adultery, then it totally will make them love you despite some excess flesh you’re lugging around. And when others love you, it reminds you to love yourself, instead’ve abusing it with food.)

And that leads me to my next point.

Sometimes when we’re feeling-eating, it’s ’cause we’re in the midst of a vicious cycle of abhorring our own bodies. Hearing generic, “love yourself” advice can seemingly clash with “treat yo’self” advice. Why not do the two? Instead of forking out funds to fill up your fork – bypass the mall’s food court, and hit up that Zen kiosk for a rubdown, compliments of an angry Asian man who speaks so little English that he (conveniently) doesn’t understand when you put up five fingers to indicate how many dollars you’d like back as change for his tip. Or even schedule a mani/pedi with the girls.

(Just make sure you’re focusing on it being the reward – not some appetizer to waistline annihilation.)

My point? You can love yourself and your body and treat it (without the sweet treats destroying your hopes and dreams and weight loss goals.) You can have fun losing weight. You can enjoy it, by deferring dulce de leche and enjoying a healthier reward – one that makes you respect yourself again by reminding you you can feel good and at home in your body.

And, finally, comes the bit where the trophy-key gets you through the door to the next trophy key.

Let’s define the “happiness” in your “I’ll have happiness when I’ve dropped all this weight.” What is that? A boyfriend? That new job? Your book deal? You wanna know what? I’mma tell you something about the longest relationships I’ve enjoyed, the best jobs I’ve had, and the best writing I’ve ever done. They were all won by working myself into a state of enjoyable energy. I don’t wake up feeling that way. I wake up cranky just like any other bish with a herniated lumbar disc, TMJ, and scoliosis. (Or just anyone who doesn’t reside in Disney princess-opolis). The point’s this: I don’t have birds or Bambi at my bedside every A.M. But I hit my yoga mat, pour my matcha, go for a trail jog, and pump some 90’s tunes to get myself (as Tony Robbins calls it) into “state”. Why? Because, like that Outkast song, the whole world loves you when you don’t get down. And when the whole world loves you, it’s pretty tough to keep on abusing yourself with bad food and poor lifestyle choices. The day I got the job I have now, I felt hideous – but kept telling myself I was awesome and beyond qualified. The boss called me before I’d even gotten home to say they weren’t looking any further. I still have that gig. And I still love it and am massively appreciated there. Then, a couple weeks after my dog died this summer, I was finally willing to go out and socialize. I felt chubby (because, yes, I’d been feeling-eating); but I had decided to stop being sad and to start being open with upbeat energy. The second I got back to my car, there was a note on my window. It was from a guy who wanted to take me out. (Funny and 100% not-shizzing-you-true plot twist: not only did we date a short while – but he also gave me his dog he’d been looking to give away. For free. Double win for my ego and empty home still missing a furry roomate.)

“Deeeear, Ashley: This thing – between you ‘n me – it ain’t gonna last. But you’ll get a mutt instead’ve a mate. And you’ll be far more grateful for that. Looove, some random, handsome, totally flaky, confused dude” (who I genuinely hope finds happiness.).

The thing is, once you decide to start seeing life through a fun filter, you don’t veer into those feelings sent to sabotage you. You’re too busy. You’re busy because you’re having fun and looking forward to living. When you’re celebrating – instead’ve dreading – living, you don’t have those negative thoughts about life driving you to the morose munchies in the first place. Sustenance isn’t something to get high on anymore. It’s here to fuel even more of your fun – not your feelings. The trick is to acknowledge that maybe those porky proclivities might be your default – and proactively beat it to the punch (and lunch) every day, starting from the second you wake up.

So, today, I invite you to find your “clone trophy key”. Find that happy that gets you more happy. Is it yoga or barre class? Is it visiting the local improv comedy club with a pal – and laughing because of how funny they’re not? Is it dancing naked in the mirror to “Goodbye Horses”? Whatever it is, commit to doing that – or something comparable.

Commit to doing something fun that makes you upbeat, each time the sun comes up….

And the pounds will go down.