How to avoid possession by the weight gain demon this Halloween…

October 9, 2016 Ashley 0 Comments

Sure, you planned to give away all those gobs of goodies to goblins on Halloween night.

But you know as well as I that November 1st is the scariest day of the year. Because that’s when the mountain of uncollected Mounds bars remain. Uncollected. Uneaten. Begging to be devoured. And then what’re you gonna do? When it’s late at night and that pyramid of sin in the kitchen sings its siren song – every evening for the next week?

Oh, you wanna know what I’d do?

Honestly?

Well, I’d probably witness myself siphon the entire pile at woodchipper speed, wrappers and all, in one sitting.

And then let that sweet saccharine gateway binge lead me to buy out the local bakery, once I had a taste.

That’s if I bought a bunch of junk food to dole out.

But I don’t. (Not anymore, at least.) See, I’ve discovered something in the past few years. And that’s that stores are actually offering more healthy options now. And you know what? They aren’t gross, either. Back in my day (*grabs spectacles and dusts off Halloween album from nineteen-ninety-whatever*), handing out healthy food meant you were the most hated house on the block, in grave danger of getting egged. Not anymore. In fact, last year, I found a whole aisle full’ve treats at my local Wegmans that were a bit more organic, and a bit less processed. And, ya know what? They weren’t half bad. Plus, because many of them were namely plant based in their ingredients, I knew I could count on them to be natural, unadulterated, and (most importantly) not dangerous to my diet.

Also, it’s not a bad marketing plan on their part that they make them mimic more familiar kinds’ve candies.

For example, if you love Reese’s or M&M’s, you (and the doorbell ringing ghouls) might also like UNREAL candy brand.

They even do stuff like butter cups:

It’s got all the taste minus all’ve the the preservatives or hydrogenated oils you get in the inimical, original version.

(And also no GMO’s, if that’s a concern for you.)

Also, there’re also a plethora of other healthy spinoff’s on gummy worms and bears, too:

Then, there’s Bitsy’s Brainfood:

Why’d I get these?

Good question. Maybe it was because the ingredients spoke to the hippie in me. Maybe I wanted to be the one do-gooder, doling out healthy sheep treats in wolve’s clothing. Or maybe it was because of the Magic Schoolbus-esque cartoon on the bag. (Pretty sure that’s it.) All I know is that those badboys disappeared in a plume of ninja smoke.

But – while healthy snacks are good – why not think outside of the trick or treat bag?

Remember that handing out toys is also always a welcome alternative to any kinda candy – healthy or not.

(Which my ego also likes, because it makes me different and unique and cooler than the people handing out boring Warheads and the like next door. And at the door before. And at the door before that.)

And, finally, if still want to hand out candy – sans worrying about any day after munching – then here’s an idea:

Buy something you know you won’t eat.

Before I got hip to the wealth of healthy snack handouts they now offer, I used to do this all the time. I mean, don’t get me wrong; I’m a piglet. I love all kinds’ve bad-for-me foods. But there are some things this Hoover won’t suck down – like fruity candy, for example. (Ironic, because I love legit, from-the-produce-aisle fruit.) That’s why, about seven years ago, when I moved into my apartment, I started buying gumdrops and candy necklaces for Halloween. I think I still have some of those. In fact, last year, I thought I was doing exactly that when I bought some sort’ve vegan plant based snack packs (whose brand name I wish I could remember but can’t ATM; sure would be useful in an article about healthy Halloween candy…). When I bought them, I literally thought, “That sounds good and disgusting. No way I’ll be eating these.” But then I tried one (after getting some anxiety inducing news one night. #emotionaleater). And then I had another. And then I polished off the whole bag. The plus? Without all the sugar and butter and processed junk in them, I could feel zero point zero guilt about it because A.) they were healthy, and B.) the bags aren’t so massive that you overdo it. And, even though I can’t recall their name, you could likely duplicate my sinless binge with the likes of Bitsy’s Brainfood this year, if you like.

There you have it, my weight loss minded lovelies. I’ve officially cast my slenderizing snack spell.

You no longer need fear the scariest part of the scariest day each year.

So, eat up, my non-GMO, free-range, grass fed butter cups.