Will Dirty Lemon water make you prettier and skinnier?
February 13, 2017 Ashley 0 Comments
On the topic of health and beauty, I’m always looking for new and innovative products.
So, when I saw this article on “Guest of a Guest” (a website, catering to aspiring high society-ers) about “Dirty Lemon” water, I figured I’d give it a read. What is Dirty Lemon? The trendy latest detox. And for the price of $65, you can get a whole case of… six bottles? Geez. What did this thing actually accomplish? All in all, the 25 year old author went on to detail what she perceived (or her hungry Chanel clutch, being compensated by Dirty Lemon themselves, perceived) to be a bunch of pros to the product. At first, half of what she seemed to hail were trivial characteristics – like the striped bottle, the alleged exclusivity of it (they only sell via text message), the strange color of the liquid, or the fact that you could “make everyone jealous” – which you “can’t put a price tag on”.
(“But it matches my shoes mummy overnighted that’re so fresh you can still taste the child slave’s tears on them!”)
But, to be fair, some other upsides were legit: the fact that it gave you great, angelic pallor, had a pleasant taste, or “moved things along” (IOW: you’ll expel that undigested belly bloat in the loo super fast). All wonderful things that keep us feeling and looking healthy and light. But, in the end, on a weight loss front, how’d it stack up? Not so great, she concedes. There was no weight loss. (Though to be fair, she only did it for a week, and no healthy weight loss beyond a pound or two should really transpire within a week). And why? Maybe it’s because the product’s crap.
Maybe it’s because you can’t out de-tox a bad diet and lifestyle.
That’s why, after reading the post, I got an influx of the preach ‘n praise emoji hands for dropping the following truth bomb:
Oh, you wanna know what I forgot to add for my “likers”?
The fact that, by tweaking the diet as described, you can accomplish the weight loss part of it.
But that’s the problem. People hear that, and it seems too tough – to the point where their brains dismiss at as a viable option. I’m not going to say “that’s the problem with today’s kids”. Because, TBH, millennial though I’m not, I’m no better, deep down. Not really. At least, for most of my life, I haven’t been. The quick fix was always the first place I wanted to head. Change my habits? Quit wine? Quit whining and actively alter my lifestyle choices that were leading me to be unhappy? Preposterous. Hand me the latest pill or detox. And then listen to me complain when it fails. (Just like the last one.) It wasn’t until I had a major “Aha!” moment in my life that that all changed. And I’m doing great as a result. But even I get the tendency to revert. Why? Change is tough. Bad habits come easy. Thus, we always want someone or something else to accomplish health for us. We’ll pay any price to avoid the discomfort of personal transformation. (The mantra of the trust fund babies frequenting sites like Guest of a Guest.) But, unfortunately, the only lasting change can come from exactly that. Changing the basics. Clean eating. Exercise. Hydration. Everything listed above. And that’s the dirty truth – that Dirty Lemon water isn’t the answer. The answer is the lemonade you make when life chucks reality lemons at you.
Like the ones I just did.