Why This Weight Loss Contraption Works… And Why It Doesn’t

April 15, 2018 Ashley 0 Comments

You’ve probably heard of “waist trainers”.

They’re basically modernized corsets chicks wear while endeavoring to resemble the telophase stage of mitosis. The idea’s that it’s gonna somehow pinch your middle into shape. However, anyone with a modicum of neuronal activity happening in their body’s attic knows it’s simply squishing your viscera. (Right? We all get that?) So, naturally, I was a little skeptical when I saw this piece pop up about a novel invention called the “Ballancer Pro”. It’s basically like a giant Game Ready for your whole body. You wrap yourself up in this space suit looking contraption, it gently inflates and deflates around your limbs like a benevolent boa constrictor, and – by some sorcery – you lose weight.

That’s the claim, at least: “Drop a dress size in a month!”

(Photographer: “Now, try to forget you look like the kid from “A Christmas Story”, and channel 2002 Angelina Jolie”)

That is, if you keep doing it for 12 times. At 45 minutes for each of those 12 sessions. And $200 a pop for each of those 45 minute, 12 sessions. Now, I wanna be fair and unbiased. So, before I unsheath my sword of cynicism and smite this device where it stands on my news feed, let’s make some concessions. I can see how this might work. But none’ve it’s because it’s squeezing you into some form like some factory doll in a mold (as most of the posts I’m seeing on this suggest). Rather, the three reasons this could work, if done consistently are pretty easy to see. It’s all about the 3 C’s: comfort, circulation, and confirmation bias.

Comfort

Massages, for most, are pretty comforting. There’s something about that hypnotic, squeezing that feels good. It’s a stress reliever. It makes us feel safe. It releases feel-good hormones. And when we feel good, we’re far more likely to eat the right things in the right amounts as well as finally sign up for that Orange Theory class we’ve been putting off. It’s simple. When we’re hurting, it’s difficult to convince ourselves to move. Ever skip a workout ’cause you’re still aching from the one two days ago? Eliminating that issue could also eliminate the lack of motivation pain is causing.

Circulation

This’s kinda a piggyback off the last one. See, the physical discomfort leading us to stress eat and regress on our sweat goals has layers to it. Sure, DOMS often has an effect. But you know what else does? Poor circulation. I’ve seen gadgets not unlike this a lot in the clinic, working edema up from the distal aspect of patient’s body branches and back into gen pop, so it can be excreted, along with lots’ve toxins. But, when used as a weight loss device, this one’s fun ’cause it works on two levels. The first is that you feel better when your circulation improves. You get more oxygen to all your muscles, making you wanna move ’em more. You also get better digestion. (Ever try to do HIIT when your intestinal exit’s blocked AF? It ain’t fun.) Getting everything moving out on a regular basis takes your workout game to the next level. Not only that, but you’ll see the numbers on the scale drop super fast. And, while most’ve that’s gonna be thanks to the lost water weight (not actual fat), we live in a numerical figure obsessed society. So, you’ll likely feel encouraged by that. Even if you’re smart enough to know you’re not nixing the jiggle yet.

Confirmation Bias

And, then there’s the final “C”: confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is what happens when we make a risky choice, have to live with the outcome, and then convince ourselves that outcome was good, so we can say the investment was worth it. It could be a breakup. It could be a job change. Or, in this case, it could be paying $200 for a service (financial expense) and sitting for an hour in it (temporal expense) and thereafter finding a line of logic that lets us believe the juice was worth the squeeze. (Quite literally in this case.) This is a very powerful psychological hack. So powerful, in fact, that the part of your brain that knows you’ve been lying to yourself about why you’re really not losing weight (*jump cut to the cookie stash in your car, late night snacking, and slacking on workouts*) starts coming for you. The yes-and to this is that you get so desperate for the right result (to prove you didn’t make a stupid financial decision), that you lace up your gym kicks and begin evicting your bad habits. Then, when you lose weight (in a way that costs zero point zero dollars), you can give your shizzy decision to sit in an overpriced Mylar snowsuit all the credit.

All so you can say you made the right choice.

(Good luck convincing bae, though, if you’ve got a joint account…)

And, I’ll admit it: on a psych hack level, this all this might be nice if you could do it consistently.

But, as heavily hinted above, money’s gonna be an issue.

Again, to render any actual weight loss benefits – you’ve gotta do about 12 sessions in this full body anaconda straitjacket contraption. Now, take out your calculator, plug in the number 12 and multiply it by a cool $200. Did you just cringe a little? Me too. I mean, hell yeah, you’re gonna lose weight. You won’t have any money left to eat. Now, if money’s no object, I say go for it. Otherwise, my advice is to assume a stellar, healthy, plant based diet (even if it involves some occasional delicious deviations), find a workout you love doing (so that you’ll do it consistently), and add in some morning yoga. That way, you’ll be covering all the “C” bases. You’ll be getting the comfort of the endorphins exercise provides, the improved fluid flow from yoga to renew your circulation, and nixing the need for confirmation bias – ’cause the investment of energy and time into a free, daily practice that actually works is worth it. By any standards.

No more time wasted. No more money spent.

And no more living in inflated straitjackets of denial about why you can’t lose weight.