Why a fit fanny’s not just nice – butt necessary.

May 16, 2016 Ashley 0 Comments

I make a lot of excuses for why I don’t train my booty enough.

And I think a lot of it boils down to the same reason people let themselves get “skinny fat”.

I mean, sure. Toning up is tough and I can be pretty lazy by the day’s end (or start, for that matter.) So that’s a factor, to be sure. But it’s also a lack of motivation. Is “looking good” enough? Especially when we can cover up the problem? See, we forget the fact that – though a bubble bum’s nice to have – it’s not just about what we can immediately see. It’s not merely about athletically won assets. It’s also about what’s happening inside our meat machines – what problems we’re unintentionally potentially causing ourselves later on down the line. And you know what? Having a feeble fanny is one of those problem-starters. It’s like setting up a booty booby trap for your future self. Aside from looking like a pair of deflated gym discs, by deserting your derriere tuning duties, you can potentially end up with back problems, bad workouts, and bum knees.

(Or all three at once – depending on what painful curveballs life might lob your way.)

Why?

Because the function behind (pardon the pun) a fit fanny is to take the strain off other muscles that ultimately cause all’ve those problems. See, when you sit around for too long (like many of us do), your unused glutes stop working. But unlike most folk who stop working and subsequently get fired, your butt muscles quit firing altogether. When this happens, a cascade of ghastliness happens. First, your hip flexors tighten up. Then, you can’t move your hips the way they normally go. And then, you get up and head out for a run (to compensate for eight hours of smashing your seat steaks against a swivel chair). That’s how you land yourself an injury. Because, for one, an atrophied azz means a weak pelvis. And when your sacral stability’s outta whack, your back tries to man up and do the job. And that leads to back pain. Also, as your hips tighten up, they can’t do the dynamic motions they’re meant to, which means you can’t maneuver your usual movements with the same agility and acuity. In effect, your other joints and muscles all bear the brunt of your butt playing hookie.

Alright, so what’s the fix then?

A bunch of squats?

Well, yes… but not only squats.

Because while squats are great for strengthening your main butt muscle, the fun doesn’t stop there. Did you know there are actually three muscles that comprise your caboose? There are. There’s the gluteus maximus, glute minimus, and glute medius. And while each have a job, you can just think of them as the three mus-keisters who collaborate to keep your posterior perky and powerful. But, in order for that to happen, each need individual attention via unique exercises and strength work. The exercise experts call this “triangle training”:

Alright, great. So what do you actually need to do?

Well, direction-wise (and diagram-wise, to see what you’re working), this is a good starter:

Yet, if you’re like me (and need a visual), you might find this a bit more helpful:

And if you’re lazy like me (which I admitted at this article’s start), maybe you need a visual and auditory cues:

(And some supermodel inspo.)

In sum:

Dereliction of derriere duty is the key ingredient for a fail souffle of bad backs, workouts, and knees.

So, to look sexy and avert all of that somatic suffering, start training all three’ve these muscles ASAP.

No if’s, and’s, or saggy, slacker butts.