Lose That Halloween Candy To Lose Weight

November 4, 2018 Ashley 0 Comments

Halloween has been over for almost a week now.

Yet that candy is still lying around the house, taunting you. And, after a long day of work, taking little Billy to T-ball, and cleaning up your fam’s dirty dishes and laundry, your willpower has indisputably disappeared. Gone like a phantom. Vanished. There’s no sense trying to fight it. So, you surrender to the mountain of Mounds bars and KitKat’s. As a result, your weight-loss goals go the same place your willpower went. Yes. This is the scariest part of Halloween – the adipose aftermath. But you wouldn’t be worried if they weren’t there, would you? You wouldn’t even think about it. So what can you do to get rid of all that candy? How can you possibly rid yourself of this pile of diabetes with its constant siren song? It’s actually simple, really. You do the same thing you did last week – pawn it off on someone else. The only difference? Instead of waiting for miniature monsters to come collect it, you just distribute it to the real life monsters you hafta deal with every day.

In other words: take it to work and feed it to your colleagues.

(And, no, I don’t just mean the stuff that isn’t tasty… #AllOfIt)

There’s really nothing more complex to it than that. You can either take it to the office, have your husband take it to his job, or even bring it to your doctor’s office (to put in that front desk bowl as apologetic offerings to patients for always being an hour and a half behind). The options are endless. And they really didn’t occur to me until I noticed more and more candy accruing at work after the festivities had ended. Why was everyone still eating like they were at an eight year old’s birthday party? Then, someone explained it. Patients were donating them and so were my coworkers who “didn’t want it around the house anymore”.

It’s perfect. But a lot of people won’t do this. Why? The same reason an alcoholic doesn’t throw away that last handle of vodka, or a pillhead doesn’t toss his last oxy bottle. In the anonymous programs, they call those “reservations”. It’s when you reserve a little bit’ve room for relapse. Now, your very clever mind may have told you that you’re keeping it around “for guests” or “in case you want a little something sweet occasionally”. But we all know the “guests” generally end with the gremlins ringing your doorbell on the 31st. And “occasionally” quickly morphed into binging on half the Costco sized bagin a single eve last year. So why would this year be any different? They say insanity is repeating the same thing and expecting different results. And that may just be the most sinister thing about Halloween – or any sugary food focused holiday, for that matter.

So, to get rid of that Halloween fatness, start the next holiday, Thanksgiving, early.

You can “thank” me for this amazing tip.

And then you can “give” your candy away to coworkers capable of moderating better than we can.

(Bonus: post this guilt inducing pic up afterward, and you’ll have a whole new gym crew)

Or, ya know, you could just hand out something healthier next year.

#YeahI’mThatHouseOnTheBlock