How a bunch of old ladies gave me the workout of my life
January 6, 2017 Ashley 0 Comments
As I stepped into my first water aerobics class yesterday, I wasn’t sure what to expect.
Now, had I actually read up on it prior to impulsively just signing up and saying, “Why not?”, then I would’ve known. I would’ve known it was gonna be a bunch of little (okay, maybe not so little) old ladies. Seriously. I think half of them were hip replacement patients I’ve worked with. So, needless to say, I felt slightly out’ve place (initially – at least). And I also was worried a workout was something I wasn’t gonna be getting (initially, at least). But, as I’ve been trying “new things” of late, something transformative’s been happening. My mind’s been opening. And, with that, I’ve been giving activities a full effort before writing them off. As a result, writing about them’s what I end up doing instead, more often than not. So, in that spirit, I stayed for the whole class. So, what was the ultimate upside? Aside from the fact that I felt kinda like Cameron Diaz’s “In Her Shoes” character – a young’n who goes to live at a retirement community – the whole time?
(Or that – if you look nada like Diaz – you can shield any view of your biscuits beneath the water?)
Probably the fact that these old floating bags handed my azz to me with their aqueous routine.
I left having had far more of a workout than anticipated.
But… that’s exactly what water workouts will do for you, says LiveStrong.
Water aerobics isn’t just for preggos and geriatrics. It’s a fabulous weightless weight loss activity for anyone. Why? Well, when you’re hydro twerking, you burn anywhere from 400 to 500 calories per hour – per the Aquatic Exercise Association. Granted, that actual figure depends on your figure (AKA size), how intense your motions are, the pool temp, and whether you’re brave or planted permanently in the shallow end like I was. As a general rule of thumb, you get out’ve it what you put into it. Move your arms more and do faster, wider-range motions, and you’ll eradicate more fat than your lazy neighbor barely moving her arms while she complains to Mavis about how much movie theater tickets cost. (In her defense, though, tickets are ridic.)
“Come on, Sally. Let’s move those ham-hocks. No excuses. Eighty ain’t nothin’ but a number.”
Add to that those little Styrofoam weights they break out, and I was a goner. I mean, I train in Muay Thai, man. This should’ve been simple. But between underwater pendulum kicks and what felt like trying to keep bilateral beach balls submerged, my whole body felt like metal by the time I emerged from the pool. That’s probably because water workouts – aside from their aerobic benefits – are also a fantastic alternative to other sorts’ve strength training. From my triceps to my stems, I was struggling against 12 times the resistance of air for that hour. And, as you may know by now, when you’re working against resistance, you fire up the ol’ metabolic furnace – which equals big time weight loss in the long run.
And, if weight loss’s not enough, there’s a litany of other upsides to getting your sweat on in wetness. Your posture improves. You enjoy a sudden sense of well being (versus that permanent tension we all go around with). You sleep better. (I can vouch – I slept like a child hit with a tranquilizer dart myself last night.) Your mood improves. Flexibility’s better. Endurance increases. Stiffness diminishes. And, finally, fatigue decreases. And that’s another one I can confirm. Because, even though I departed the pool feeling worked over, I still went for a run within the hour and recovered enough by nightfall to make it to three separate martial arts classes that evening, with fuel still left in the tank after.
So, if you wanna blast massive calories while feeling weightless, sign up for a bit’ve water aerobics.
And let those old biddies help you bid your holiday pounds adieu.
’cause I promise, they’ll give you a real run (er…swim?) for your money.