Yes, Those Calories DO Count (Part 1)

July 14, 2018 Ashley 0 Comments

“I just can’t figure out why this weight won’t come off.”

I hear this entirely too much. And it’s always the same thing, followed by details of some healthy, oat filled breakfast, an energy sustaining lunch, and an award worthy dinner. All weight loss foods. All good for you. So, it doesn’t make sense, does it? Wrong. It makes perfect sense. Because, while those meals would probably do a beautiful job of helping you lose weight on their own, they’re no match for you massacring them with your bad snack habits. See, this is the part people I always leave out. See, they think by lying to me, they can fool their waistline. However, if they’re close friends, I end up hearing about it at some point (or seeing the pints of empty ice cream evidence later, when they invite me over). And where there’s smoke, there’s fire. (It’s never just ice cream, is it? Really?) But I ain’t hating. It takes one too know one.

Indeed, I point the finger ’cause I’ve done it, too.

A lot.

(Guilty AF)

See, denial is a summabish when it comes to attempting a caloric deficit. Having been there (repeatedly), I can relate. Sometimes I’ll be plodding along on my weight loss mare, and I’ll get the notion that some calories don’t count – or that, if they do, I don’t care. (“We can worry about my rapidly expanding mass later.”) So, I’ll get thrown from the horse. And, before I know it, I’m too fat and lazy to saddle back up. So what do we do when this happens? We get a wake up call. Something happens to make us care again. For me, it was busting my ankle recently and knowing I’d hafta back off on my two a days. (Which meant I’d hafta back off in mindless munching as well.) For you, I assume it’s the fact that you’re even here reading this.

So how can we lasso our snack habits and drag them to the slaughter house? Easily. By acknowledging all the calories we try to deny exist. We lay ’em out, one by one. We give them demons a name and exorcise them so our exercise isn’t in vain. (Because we all know you can’t out-gallop a bad diet.) So what are they? Well, here’s just a handful of your typical calories that count – even when you pretend they don’t. So, let’s get out out pens and stenos -and let’s see how many of these snack transgressions we’ve each committed today:

1. Drinks

If it’s liquid, it’s doesn’t matter. Right? Slurpable calories don’t end up on your arse?

Tell that to my scale which dropped five pounds after switching from grande mochas to tall flat whites.

The telltale digits don’t deceive. We do.

2. Car snacks

From road trips to those lunches you eat alone in your car so you can avoid seeing people for one peaceful half hour of your life, yes; those calories count. All of ’em. And, yes, if you do this a lot, that muffin is blubber to be. And, that hashbrown’s headed to your midsection. And that milkshake’s not gonna bring any boy’s to the yard. (Unless they’re coming with a Hoyer lift.) Okay, that might be a bit extreme. But the point remains the same: just because you didn’t enjoy it at a table by candlelight, doesn’t mean it isn’t in your system, setting up shop in your adipose cells.

3. Pre-dinner

This is another one I had to nix. (And one I’m still not stellar at managing.) Here, an exquisite dinner’s in the process of being prepared. And, while the scent’s so seducing it weakens one’s knees, do you know what makes it taste even better? Waiting for that first bite, you impatient ogre. (And by “you”, I mean “me”.) I’ve tried holding out for the past week. Ya know, just to see if there’s any difference. And there definitely is. Not only does food taste better after delaying gratification (there’s a whole study done on that, if you’ll just refer to appendix number GoogleSearchItYaDamnSelf); but you’re also not having to wonder how many extra calories you packed in, in the midst of your ravenous “appetizer” fugue state.

4. Free Food

The desserts and deep dish pizzas brought into work.

The buy one, get one free’s.

The taco bae bought ’cause he knows Chuy’s is the way to your heart (or not getting his ripped out) mid PMS.

It.All.Counts.

5. Out with friends

When you’re having quality pal time, worrying about sugar levels is a legit buzzkill. That’s why it’s fine once or twice a week (if you’re not doing all the other stuff on this list all week long, between designated cheat days). I mean, honestly “fine” is however you wanna define it. But, if you want a side of reality with those fries, it’s this: doing daily lunches featuring cheesecake finales or venti frappucinos laden in whipped cream might just be where those additional few inches of width are coming from, love.

(Click here for the final five caloric catastrophes massacring your weight loss goals.)