Long term motivation: staying on your fitness path
July 19, 2015 Ashley 0 Comments
A friend (we’ll call her “S”) posted this today:
I need to find my WHY again. I have lost sight and I’m faltering…the past 4 weeks have been hell. I have no motivation…I have worked so hard the past 6 months killing myself and I can’t afford to go back…but WHAT the f*ck am I FIGHTING for? WHY am I killing myself? What is the end result? I mean in the great grand scheme of things who really gives a f*ck other than me how much I weigh? Or if I’m happy? Or if I’m healthy? Or if I’m the best version of me? What is the whole point of the death of the old Sarah? The struggle is real.
Now, normally I’m 100% eyeroll emoji about online complaining. But this chick has been chronically overweight her whole life and her more recent lifestyle tweaks over the past year have been ridiculously inspiring, so I replied:
I’m sorry you’re going through these doubts 😕 Although that is something that only you can answer, I will say this: your posts, pictures, and general updates since working with Jamie have seemed SO much happier. I don’t just mean that you look fantastic and I don’t just mean with respect to weight loss (although you do indeed look amazing). I suppose maybe that’s part of what any of us need to keep sight of when trying to keep a lifestyle change – how all encompassing a balanced, healthy path is.
And, while I hope she took it to heart, it really got me thinking deeper about the challenge of transformation. It’s easy for me to sit here barking out “just do it” orders, like some Nike nazi, but I didn’t grow up overweight and I’ve never been obese. Change is tough as fluff. Especially when you dunno what you’re changing towards. She’s never experienced how fun clothes shopping can be or that self affirmation you feel when you slip on some skinny jeans without committing adductor arson just by ambulating. That’s why I feel like part of S’s confusion is just a very natural reaction to the fact that she’s transforming and suddenly residing in unfamiliar territory. And I say this ‘cause I’ve experienced the same myself with other personal transmogrifications I’ve been attempting in the past couple years. For instance, my more recent life-go at trying to have fun sans libations and leash up my inner b*tch still befuddle me every day – especially when I see myself succeeding.
Like, if I’m not the sarcastic drama monger I’ve been behaving like, then what is life even?
(Never underestimate the power of familiarity’s comfort. Even chaos can feel comfortable if it’s well practiced.)
Indeed, that can be quite confusing.
That’s why it’s important to make a clear list of why you want what you want before setting out – to refer to it later.
While that’s a good half-solution, the other part lies in the fact that it’s easy for us to deceive ourselves when we’re weak. And I think that she knows that due to the fact that she’s posted this at all. It’s good she’s posing the question from a point of humility: “I need to remember why”. Why are you on this path at all? Deep down, I feel that she knows. But cravings – especially to former addictions (even delicious, over the counter ones) – can hamper cognitive function in the worst kinda way. There have been actual studies done on how cravings make you downright dumb if they’re intense enough (been there – if I’ve got durian on the brain, you won’t exist until it exists… in my face hole). It doesn’t matter whether it’s a permeating desire for food, sex, or drugs – these forbidden apples (ironic idiom, really, seeing as a Granny Smith addiction is probably the least vice-like thing you could suffer) can grenade launch a nice big Jersey barrier right onto the GPS that’s taking you to happiness town. And once they’re there, everything you’ve worked for – along with your motivation to carry on that torch – dissipates into a mist of what’s-the-point-ness. Unless you’ve spent a lotta time working on the “why?”. And why is that so? Because we get a dopamine hit every time we indulge the thought, which kicks out rationale in favor of thoughts about the desired object. Per one piece I read recently, covering everything from sustenance to drug cravings:
“What’s more significant than chemicals [dopamine] spiking, is the chain reaction caused when they do. At the spike of dopamine the limbic system of the brain starts to subdue the prefrontal cortex (part of brain that understands consequences). This happens because the brain is a “team of rivals” where structures are competing against each other for dominance. Researchers discovered that a spike of dopamine empowers the limbic system to “hijack” our reasoning and assessing abilities that are carried out in the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex tells us what is right and what is wrong and keeps our pleasure-seeking limbic system in check.”
So, what is the point?
What is it that my buddy S knows deep down but can’t access cuzza that inimical limbic pirate?
Why not just let that mind hijacker take our life plane down in a delicious crash of gooey peanut butter and chocolate and fried food? While that answer’s up to her – or whoever’s asking – uncompromised logic would dictate it’s the same “point” behind anything worthwhile anyone invests in. You take care of your car so it will take you places. You take care of your relationships so they will last. You take care of your house so it’ll shield you from these preposterous storms we’ve been having lately which have been putting a literal damper on my runs. So, why would your body be any different? It’s obvious that it’s not – yes? But when we’re confused by our new world and still addicted to our artificial edibles (“comfort food”), that’s a tough cocktail of cognitive fog through which to try and glean any situational awareness.
Thus, you have to decide. And when you do keep four things in mind: 1.) Acknowledge this change is for you and no one else. 2.) Keep the reasons for your change nearby so that you can refer to them the next time those stupefying vice sirens descend upon your prefrontal cortex like a fleet of wit devouring demons. 3.) Be unafraid of change. 4.) Keep around friends who will inspire you, keep you honest, and motivate you toward what you want.
While only you can really answer the “why” for yourself, it doesn’t hurt to confer with your network of pals.
They’re vital in your weaker moments like S was having when she vented online. Which I’ll allow.
(’cause it’s far better than those “I’m porky and venting, but refuse to do anything about it” posts.)
Keep going, S. You’re doing great.