Is apple cider vinegar a magic pound dropping potion?

March 10, 2016 Ashley 0 Comments

“Weight is a measure of the force of gravity acting on an object.”

Newton allegedly had an encounter with this, sitting under the apple tree. But what if an actual apple potion could make that weight number come down? Well, that’s what I keep hearing with this “apple cider vinegar” stuff anyway. Even though I’ve never tried the stuff, it feels like a paradoxical punishment every time I read it. First you take something so lovely as apple cider (which you warm up and sip with your lover each December, while fondly arguing in the cold and snow about which arbolic triangle full of pine needles should come live in your house of the next month and be crowned with with a star tiara.) Then you go and ruin it by adding a vat of sour stuff that turns your face into a potato upon tastebud impact? That’s not cider. It’s a sin.

But a sin that could whittle inches from your waistline, claim some.

(Adding fruit and foliage to the photo automatically makes it look less like a cask of urine.
I’m told it doesn’t have the same effect on the taste.)

I Googled a few fans of the stuff online, but much like Instachicks donning bikinis and pushing pee flavored teas for weight loss, I imagine these peeps aren’t doing this for free. Instead, I opted to get my info not from folk getting paid – but paying their own money for real results. I wanna know what those people hafta say. Thus, I hopped on my fact probing boat and floated down the Amazon review River, looking for legit testimonials. The results?

Well, the first jug of the stuff had five stars beside it. A good start, no doubt.

However, that could just be because apple cider vinegar has a litany of other feel good effects aside from weight loss. I needed details. Clicking on the link, I noticed that people found it helpful for other reasons too: warding off unwelcome resident insects, splashing into meals for a “kick”… a few reviews about weight loss – but nada substantial. (Plus, I had to assume the unsavory flavor of it just kept people retching too much to have any appetite at all.) More research was needed. So, I gave the tablet form a gander. And… those results? Five stars as well. I heard everything from it aiding in diabetics’ conditions to people dropping massive weight in a month and a half. (And, yes, they commented on what a relief it was to have the benefits sans the abhorrent taste.)

So, is this the new magic bullet for you? Well, not necessarily. According to WebMd, you can never be entirely sure that the supplement you’re taking doesn’t have a fat sack of lies plastered on the bottle. Technically, “there is no real definition in the law of what apple cider vinegar must contain to be called apple cider vinegar. So, it is impossible to tell from these analyses whether these commercial products actually contain any apple cider vinegar.” Keeping in mind that a lotta these reviews get put up as soon as results roll in (under two months), there may be a barrage of drawbacks these reviewers realized afterward that they weren’t expecting.

So, maybe this’s got you thinking you’d do better to revert to the more natural liquid.

The one with the big bad sentient blob (they call it a “mother”) at the center of it. Disgusting as it may taste (and look) on its own, it’s not much worse than your kombucha right? Well, maybe in moderation. According to the pro’s, you can damage your enamel by overdoing this acidic elixir – and potentially land yourself some tummy troubles as well. In fact, per Dr. Michael Dansinger, director of Tufts University’s diabetes lifestyle coaching program, it could cause other probs as well. His concern is “(…)that drinking vinegar, even diluted in water, increases acid in your system, which puts a strain on your kidneys and bones.” Now, he may be referring to those who do it regularly. But, even then, we have a problem. Because when you stop, the results do show rebound weight gain. Why? Because, some speculate its effects are only to do with reducing your ravenous tendencies in the first place. Which means it’s not a long term plan, since it may have other negative effects if overused.

“Since the apple cider vinegar diet does not provide any calorie restriction instructions, it is not actually a diet. People who adopt the recommendation for consuming apple cider vinegar before meals must rely on the vinegar to suppress their appetite enough to lose weight. (…) These diets are attractive to consumers who want to believe that weight loss is possible without decreasing calorie intake or increasing activity levels. (…) Without lifestyle changes and modified eating habits required to maintain a healthy weight, you will see the pounds return soon after you stop using the diet.”

That’s another five demerits for Gryffindor.

’cause aside from the health effects, it only works so long as you’re using it.

And using it long term may be harmful.

So where’s that leave us?

In the end, you might be surprised by my verdict. But I say that the more natural form could be a good way to either kickstart a fitness path or drop those last few pounds. For a short while, at least. Why? Because you’d be doing it briefly to either initiate inspiration for the first time or motivate you toward the the finish line. Significant or not, this stuff’s known to healthily help you drop at least a couple pounds. And seeing scale numbers drop can indeed be a confidence booster to stay the sweaty course and forego that four course meal of fatty feelings you were planning to put away tonight. So if it can fleetingly offer those physical results that remind your mind of why you started in the first place, then awesome. Just remember that that means you’ve gotta meet those results halfway if you wanna keep seeing that kinda improvement. ’cause weight my have to do with the force of gravity acting on an object. But if you don’t force your body-object to act differently, no amount’ve apples and coffeemaker cleaner can change that.

May that force be with you.