How to Keep a Tiny Waist and Still Get Wasted This Summer

July 1, 2018 Ashley 0 Comments

Hey girl…

You know how many calories are in that cocktail?

I know, I know. Here come the misery police to bust up your summer fun. You’re just trying to get a dose of dome de-fragmentation via delicious libation and I’ve gotta remind you just how far that blackberry daquiri-mobile’s driving you away from your weight loss goals. Ew. Just because I’m a sober moron, what do I think? That you all hafta be too? Is that it? Wrong, you judgmental and ungrateful little brats. Now listen up, slags. Because I’m actually here to show you how you can get your kicks and a sick bod this summer.

Enter the Buzz Pop cocktail.

Sure, it sounds more like a digital recap mashup of whatever pop stars are trending RN and Buzzfeed non-news. I assure you, it’s not. But it does promise to get you just as dumb and disconnected from reality as that would – just like we all are aiming for when we go out for a drink. And that’s exactly what these bad boys are. Drinks. Drinks in chilled form. An adult Popsicle. Frozen with sorbet and spirits, it’s perfectly blended poolside treat.

But these aren’t your grandma’s popsicles. (Note I said your grandma – not mine; mine could drink your alcoholic whiskey swilling uncle who falls in the fire every holiday under the table.) Nay sir. Unlike Costco’s weaksauce version of this, which leaves your inner Oliver-lets-get-Twisted begging for more alcohol content (I mean… it’s not even in the double digit range), these shot-cicles pack a whopping 15%. So you’re getting more bang for your buck.

What’s more, they’re only 100 calories (compared to that glass of sugar and shame you’re already on your third cup of). And you wanna know the nice thing about that? Sure, it’s not as many cals. But, if it were a legit drink, you’d (and by you I mean me, back in my drinking days) would probably just kill it quickly, order four more within five minutes, and be eating a pizza tower within the hour once you’re good and blackout drunk. (Amongst other stuff you can also avoid.)

(See? Her top’s still on. And she’s skinny. You don’t get that by AR-15’ing shots of vodka and sugar into your gullet)

Indeed, not only do the drink calories add up when you overdo them, but binge drinking leads to binge eating far too frequently. (Buh-bye, tiny waistline.) In popsicle form, though, your hot mess horse is forced to slow the eff down as you pull the reigns (thanks to brain freeze). The result? You take your time, actually enjoy a few different flavors, and have not only a buzz that lasts – but maybe actually a few memories of the event tomorrow. Not to mention, you can finally have a night where you can unwind your mind without unwinding all your body’s hard work dieting and exercising during the week.

So if you wanna hot body and a buzz this summer, trade your high cal cocktails in for this popular shot pop.