How many Valentine calories can some nookie cook off your body?

February 14, 2017 Ashley 0 Comments

It can be pretty tough staying on top of weight dropping.

(Especially with all the Hallmark holiday candies you’ve been grabbing up circa 2-14, am I right?)

And maybe you’re not exactly where you wanted to be come Valentine’s Day for that saucy lingerie number you bought for “bae”. But that shouldn’t deter you from putting it on so he can still peel it off. Why? Because A.) you’ve gotta start somewhere when it comes to getting back into your exercise regimen and B.) schmexy seshes are an epic place to do exactly that – seeing as it can potentially burn a bouquet of blubber off your body. That is… if you do it right.

See, when my brain was aroused with the concept of this article, I did what any excited single does in a hot and bothered state. I headed to the interwebz. (Except to browse facts instead’ve fannies.) And, at first, my whimsy’s pickle went limp at the following info: dudes burn over 100 calories during hay rompery, while chicks nix a bitty 35. That’s all?

How disappointing.

(No worries. That stiff stem on the left represents foreshadowy hope of the fabulous redeeming fitness fact I’m about to share…)

That couldn’t be right, I told myself. I mean, sure, I could recall a sesh or two in my life where I was about as active as one’ve Ted Bundy’s expired dates. (I immediately regret and apologize for that unforgivable joke – even though I’m still totally keeping it in the final draft.) And, sure, those instances may’ve tallied a measly under-50 calorie burn. But, then, there were those other days. The Olympic level days. Days I legit felt a medal was in order. Days I departed the bedroom half needing a lactic acid induced wheelchair ’cause’ve how much effort I’d put in. And that’s because, much like a gym sesh itself, what you put into it is what you get out of it – when it comes to the ol’ in-out.

And, sure enough, after consulting the copulatory calculator, I can affirm my assumptions.

(Of *course* I set the pace to “passionate”. If you want a snoozy sloth, hit the yoga mat, not my mattress.)

So, if your mission is missionary simplicity, by all means, enjoy your effortless schmexytime.

Kick back, relax. Grab a magazine, maybe. Let homie do all the work. However, if you’re willing to take the reigns and sit upright when you get down, you stand to burn a bunch more. Between the major muscle groups and all the isometrics you work, being on top – after half an hour – burns over twice as much (70 – 75 for an average framed lady, and even more the heavier you are) as acting akin to a dead bed fish does. Plus, the Barre like muscle pumping moves you’re doing contribute to tighter, more toned tush and thighs that have even more of the ballerina-like brawn that burns fat long after you’re done blowing your Valentine’s… mind.

So, this Valentine’s day, don’t let your fitness goals suffocate under the weight of someone else’s.

(Why should *he* get all the gains?)

Use it as an opportunity to stay on top’ve your weight loss.

Literally.