Do This in Lieu of the Booty Trainer – You’ll Thank Me In a Month
May 13, 2018 Ashley 0 Comments
Anyone else keep getting these arse ads?
For $70 jeans that “train” your booty?
And by “train” I mean strangle each of your rump lumps all day?
Probably not.
I’m likely just seeing these pop up on every connection app I own ’cause I talk a whole lot about how to get a devastating derriere online. (You’re welcome.) And the soche media robots stalk and market to me based off’ve what I type. Just like they do to you. But, on the off chance that you just said, “Um yes, I’ve seen those! And they look uh-mazing”, then let’s have a chat, you and I. First off, I just want you to know that I’m not judging you. My first reaction was similar. Who doesn’t wanna bum that looks sculpted by Donatello in denim? That question’s rhetorical. But you know what other question is too? This one:
Who doesn’t wanna bum that looks like two smooth scoops of fleshy reverie – even when they’re out’ve jeans?
Especially now that summer’s upon us (or at least the weather is), we’re probably all thinking the latter.
So what’s a girl to do to tighten her tuchus?
That’s right.
There is no magical fairy wand for a wonderful rump. But what there are are results. And they’re just waiting for you – if you follow through with a regular routine to build one. However, if you’re like me, you might be a little bit lazy. You might kinda hate reading through a whole article to figure out how to hottie-fy yourself. And, while I can’t help you with the laziness that makes you wanna give up and only look good when your overpriced pants are azz-phyxiating your fanny flaps, I can help you with the reading bit. Simply follow the following pics on the daily, and see if you’re not rocking a sweet set of rock hard rear rolls within a month:
1. Lunge
(Just like doods are gonna lunge at dat azz in a month)
This one’s simple.
Pop one of your flippers forward in front’ve you.
As you bend, make sure your thigh and lower leg’re making a 90 degree angle.
Squeeze that booty a couple seconds before pushing back to starting posiche and giving the other leg a turn.
2. Ass kickers
(What? I meant “ass” as in “donkey” – ’cause that’s legit what these’re called in the fit community…)
From hands and knees, lift your leg up, keeping it straight.
Think of making your heel try to go as far away as possible without rotating your hips.
Squeeze that bum, return to start, and go right back into another rep.
After fifteen or twenty, alternate legs.
3. Puppy piddlers
(They’re dubbed “fire hydrants” by the basics, but let’s call a thing a thing, shall we?)
Again, we’re on all fours with hands the width of our shoulders and knees the width of our hips.
Put your knees at a right angle and lift one leg out to the side ’til your pin’s in line with the floor.
Hold a couple seconds, contracting your abs and booty as you do, return to start (sans relaxing) and repeat.
4. Bun punishers
(AKA “squatting with a pulse”)
What’s a pulse you say?
It’s when you do a normal squat (feet shoulder width, toes out, knees in line with toes, straight back)….
… and then slowly inch up and down from the low (squat) position four to six times.
Sound simple? Tell me how you’re doing after rep 15…
5. Bar bridges
(Or you can just use a free weight. Or dumbbell. Or your Pekingese after she’s had a good meal #HandRaiseEmoji)
From your back (yes, it’s a supine exercise, but don’t get too comfy), rest something heavy on your hips.
With feet under knees and shoulder wide, contract your butt and hammies.
Push through your heels and lift your hips. Once up, hold a couple seconds, then return to starting posiche.
Aaaand that’s it. Five exercises.
But you might be wondering… just how frequently do you wanna do this each day?
Per Fitneass, it’s simple.
For optimal results, the whole four week layout looks like this:
Week 1: 3 sets x 5 bum exercises x 15 reps each / day.
Week 2: 4 sets x 5 bum exercises x 15 reps each / day.
Week 3: 4 sets x 5 bum exercises x 20 reps each / day.
Week 4: 5 sets x 5 bum exercises x 20 reps each / day.
And the results?
Because it targets your tush from all angles, something like this:
(Provided you diet right ‘n cardio too. 20 year old skin and flaxen locks not included…)
So, what kind’ve caboose would you choose at the end of the day?
A heavenly end side that’s free to achieve and looks ravishing in or out’ve slacks?
Or overpriced deceit that just bums you out when your bum doesn’t look the same way in a swimsuit?