50 Shades of schmexy: Dakota Johnson’s weight loss workout

February 19, 2017 Ashley 0 Comments

Whether you dig or detest those seedy flicks she’s in, there’s no denying it.

Dakota Johnson’s got a rockin’ bod.

Mhmmm.

With a physique as sizzling as that, homegirl needs 50 shades of something just to cool down. So, how’d she get a figure worthy of stripping down for the silver screen? By doing to her fitness regimen what Grey does to her. She made it her bish. (That is what the movie’s about, right? I only skimmed the first installment…) And how exactly did she do that?

By doing the exact opposite of Mistah Grey’s tendency for tunnel vision:

(Though I kinda don’t think this’s the word he meant.
Smutty trashterpiece though it was, there was nada singular about all’ve those schmexcapades.)

Yep, Dakota avoids anything “vanilla” in her workout.

See, when we talk about a need for cardio, strengthening, and working your core, it sounds great. But it’s also kinda generic, right? There’s too much room for error or laziness or doing-it-wrongery in general if someone doesn’t rope you down BDSM style and demand that you do a specific amount of exercises, for a specific increment of time, in a specific way. And, for Dakota, it’s trainer Ramona Braganza who’s dictating those specifics. In fact, as the woman responsible for designing the 3-2-1 method, Braganza’s got bragging rights for a lot of the hot bodies coming out’ve Hollywood. She’s been whipping frames into shape like she’s the Christian Grey of sweat, for a while now. And she’s been doing it for a range of names – too – from Jessica Alba to Jessica Biel.

So, how do you do it?

Well, essentially, it’s this cardio and resistance training combo you do in one workout. And the name comes from the exercise trifecta of three cardio exercises, two resistance training ones, and just one for core. But, when you actually do it, they get mixed up as follows: first you start with cardio exercise and switch over to resistance. Then, you go back to cardio (a different one, this time, if you like – there’re options available), before again resuming resistance work. After that, you do a third cardio sesh, before (finally) topping off your sweaty dessert sundae with the whipped cream and cherry of core exercise work.

That’s it. Six separate exercises.

Easy as 3,2,1.

And the whole thing lasts a whopping half hour.

(Which, coincidentally, is what they could’ve condensed 50 Shades into.
Part 1 and 2 combined, that is…)

Sounds amazing, right?

And, obviously, it works for the likes of Dakota, Alba, or Biel. But, I can’t help but wonder if part of their success was not only their motivation to get silver screen schmexy, but their proximity to – being able to physically work under the guidance of – the trainer herself. Why’s that matter? Well, because many of us tend to get stuck on one sort’ve exercise versus another. It’s not that we’re lazy (otherwise we wouldn’t be working out at all). It’s just – as Braganza puts it – there’s this mindset that sticking with cardio, for instance, will do all the work. (A fallacy of thought, but a habit we get stuck in because it’s what’s familiar.) Contrarily, when you’ve got someone there with a whip in hand, telling you what to do and how to do it, it makes going by the numbers so much easier. So, maybe that’s it. You’ve either gotta get some stellar external motivation to do all these six exercises on the regular – or transmogrify into your own ballgag bearing Grey, flogging your own body off the treadmill and over to machines and mat for muscle work, til the job’s done.

The takeaway? That you don’t hafta go 50 shades of somatic-masochism to get a Dakota bod.

Just 6 separate shades of it.

That or, ya know, pay someone to do it for you.

(“WHO SAID YOU COULD STOP, JOHNSON?” *cracks spiked whip* “GET A MOVE ON, GINGER-BOTTOM!”)

Clearly, I’ve missed my calling…