How to suck the calories out of the Starbucks you suck down

May 2, 2016 Ashley 0 Comments

If you’re a basic chick like me, you probably love your Starbucks.

I’m not even gonna lie. Some days (like today), the only thing keeping me from calling in Ferris Bueller style sick to the clinic is the thought of my soy green tea latte awaiting me at the other end of town. Teavana is essentially my reward for adulting. That said, we don’t have to sacrifice the summer bodies we’re trying to refine before holiday time hits just because we need our mocha potions and miscellaneous other delicious caffeinated concoctions to kick start our days. Ordering too much’ve a good thing can smite our dietary goals – but there are workarounds. In fact, here are just a handful of helpful hacks you can employ to enjoy chugging your chai anxiety-free, and sans concern about how far you’ll hafta jog later:

First? Lighten that latte

On the menu, they’re either dubbed exactly that – “light”, or you might see it listed as “skinny”. Either way, the idea with these are that they’re whipped up with sugar-free syrup, nonfat milk, and no whipped cream. But if all of those are too much for you, you can tweak each aspect individually.

Second… Slash your syrup.

A surplus of syrup in your cup could be the culprit behind your behemoth behind. Did you know that every pump of that chocolate-y goodness in your mocha’s an extra 20 calories? Just ask your barista for fewer squirts of sweetness to stave ’em off next round.

Next? Order your orally ingested nirvana with some soy instead’ve of milk.

Why? Less saturated fat, cholesterol, and calories.

Oh, and you’re probably going to want to trim the whipped cream.

(Betchya can’t guess how much FUPA potential that creamy pyramid contains.)

There’s exactly one place whipped cream belongs. And that’s on Ali Larter’s bikini bits (a la “Varsity Blues”); not yours (a la adipose tissue). Seriously, though – did you know how many calories that fluffy delicacy sitting atop your beverage like a savory halo has in it? Anywhere from 80 to 110 calories. Jeebus. That’s more than the syrup itself. Aside from that, dairy in general effs up that impeccable skin of yours. (Just another reason to go for the soy instead.)

And, finally, select better.

When I switched from mocha’s to matcha, two things happened. I felt energized for longer into my day, and I lost weight. Why? Well, part of it was that green tea’s not over the top with its caffeine content; just enough to keep me clear. But, the other thing is I wasn’t getting the OD on sugar (followed by that un-cute, mid-morning crash that makes work impossible). Plus, when I’m not zombified off a tall cup of sugary, hyper-caffeinated whatever, I’ve got this nice, even energy to keep me moving, hit the gym, and use whatever sugar and calories I have ingested to be more than the barely functional monkey that the indulgent, jittery, sugary stuff morphs me into. Putting it into perspective, though, it’s said that a 16 oz Vanilla Coffee Frap harbors a whopping 410 calories. But if you sub in its light cousin, that calorie count’s curtailed – to an astounding 140. Really wanna reduce that number (and the one on the scale?) It’s said that if you stick to coffee done cold-brew style, the Teavana options (like my green tea latte), or those iced skinny mochas mentioned above – all are under 100 calories. (Although I have a theory on that latter one – that you lose weight by discontinuing your patronage altogether on account of how gross splenda-ccinnos are.)

Then again, if you’re not a ‘bucks junkie like me, you could just, ya know, moderate.

That way you could have your sugary b-day cake frapp, and swig it too.

(So long as you only drink it as frequently as you have an actual birthday.)