Aerial yoga: watch scale numbers plummet by making yourself fly

January 19, 2017 Ashley 0 Comments

Okay, so I know I told you pole dancing was the t*ts.

And, I totally stand by that.

But, you know what else I stand by? Not standing at all.

(Yes, that’s me doing floating yoga.)

Because, in the world of girly boutique fitness that blasts calories, the practice called aerial yoga just might have stripper fitness beat. Because you haven’t known yoga – you haven’t experienced legitimate transcendental bliss – until you’ve been suspended for savasana in a silk cocoon. Weightless. Worry-less and levitated. Insulated in a uteral fabric pupa, feet above the floor. Yes, after trying flying yoga for the first time this past Tuesday, I could definitely confirm: this form of asana is on another level. Literally.

I’ll be honest. I might’ve put it off for another week or three had I not found a free pass for it online. It is expensive. (At least at my local gym, it is – at $25 a person.) But, having been to my first session, my sentiments might best be described by that one now-antiquated Fry meme: “Shut up and take my money!” But, that’s actually what I loved about this class. No one took my money (this go around, at least) and no one shut up, either. In fact, all class long, it was interactive. Unlike other quiet Vinyasa flow routines (which are great, in their own right), and kinda like my pole dancing class, everyone was speaking up. And they were doing it at just the right times (like, before I busted my head thanks to doing-it-wrong form) to help eachother out. (And by “eachother”, I mean beginners like your dear author.)

“Hey, James… can I, uh, borrow a hair tie?”
“If I had one, don’t you think I’d be using it, Gerri? Use your head.”
“Can’t. It’s smashed in floor ATM.”

And that was definitely needed.

Especially seeing as I chose a too-low silk (like those yogis in the photo above), and I’ve got this herniated disc I need to constantly do an eggshell dance around. I’ve gotta be careful not to jerk anything while I’m air twerking. That said, the hanging silks legitimately helped with that. As I hung like a bat, gazing at the ground, and performing an upsidedown lotus to extended leg posiche, I felt this familiar relief wash over my lower back. It was the same thing you get on a lumbar traction machine – except sexier. It made me think about all my P.T. patients, currently forbidden from weight bearing activity – and how fabulous this’d be for them.

Yes. This was more physically therapeutic than I’d surmised it’d be.

(Sure, it *looks* like pods on an alien spaceship. But it *feels*… even awesomer than that.)

Equally therapeutic? The effects on your thought-organ.

Any time I’m trying to master a new somatic activity, it’s a bittersweet process. Sure, it’s miserable for those first few moments that I’m trying to shut down my distracted, inner narrator, droning away at me in a Woody Allen voice – and trying to focus on form and instructions. That bit blows. No denying it. But, if I can not get caught up in that frustration, and let it give way to focus, it’s absolutely transcendent the second my brain and body parts sync up just the right way. There’s something magical that happens in your mind when you start learning how to commandeer different regions of yourself in new ways for the first time.

And which of those body parts can you expect to work? Well, judging by my ache zones the morning after swinging around in silks, um… everything. Abs, arms, and legs all do a ton of work to keep you up and transitioning properly from one pose to the next. Add onto that the fact that instructors like mine like infusing some strength training with the silk (Think, one legged step ups into the silk, with eccentric lowering), and you’re truly hitting all the important stuff.

Which of course means you’re maximizing your metabolic capacity (since muscle burns more than fat). But, if it’s actual stats you’re after, the caloric burn for aerial yoga’s actually more than you’d think, too. Well, depending on the class, it is. I mean, if you’re still learning, you’re probably toning your ocular muscles more than anything – ’cause you’re staring down the instructor, trying to figure out how to copycat her without catapulting across the room and staging an aerial attack on your floating neighbor. But, once you get going, that’s where the metabolic money is. If you’ve got a good, cardio infused (probably higher level than what I was doing Tuesday night) class that lasts 50 minutes or more, you’re looking at losing 320 calories or more by the time your feet hit the ground again.

And, how many calories did I burn doing flying yoga?

Well, that’s up in the air.

But what’s not – is the fact that my burning arms and abs and cash I don’t have’ll all be back for more.