The Starbucks unicorn frapp’s magical – it’ll erase all your weight loss goals with one cup!

April 20, 2017 Ashley 0 Comments

Unicorns are rare.

But, unless you’ve been living under a rock, there’s nada rare about Starbucks’ new Unicorn Frappuccino.

’cause just about every basic and her sorority sister in town’s got one’ve these:

Naaay, this horned horse drank ain’t special.

This unicorn’s ubiquitous.

And bummer for your bum if you’re among those toting it, too. (Especially if you’re on a weight loss path.) Because, lovely though this thing looks, it’s completely detrimental to your diet if you have more than one before it does what most unicorns do – fly away. So, why do people love it? Well, aside from the Insta-snap worthy aesthetic value of it, it transmogrifies into a rainbow the moment you swirl it with your straw. Blue. Pink. Fuchsia. All the same shades of your favorite candy, but none of the guilt because calories you sip don’t count… right?

Yeah… I might believe that the day I see a legit unicorn stroll into ‘bucks and order this rainbow cup’ve high fructose corn syrup himself. In the meantime, I’ll believe what I do see. And what I see on the hooves of this mythical beast drink… is the nutritional info. That’s right, guys. You can try putting on your United denial seatbelts. But I’ve already hired my truth goons to drag you out of your seats and into the fatty fact light. So, anyone wanna venture a guess as to how many calories are in a medium sized unicorn frapp? How many carbs? How much sugar?

Well, here ya go:


(From the actual site. Not that meme that keeps seeping into your FB feed.)

We’re looking at 410 calories, 16 grams of fat, and 59 sugars. This alone (not counting whatever your regular foods are you need to carry on living) is said to be at least two times the max recommended intake of sugar you should have each day. That means that, while it may feel all sorts of magical going down, you’ll be feeling pretty down later too – when your blood sugar crests and crashes. Also, none of the fats are the good (unsaturated) kind. Also, wouldya look at that sodium content? One sobering comparison I keep hearing to sum it all up is that this’s the equivalent of eating two great big Snicker’s bars. Maybe worse. And, if you know anything about fitness, refined sugar like this gets stored as fat. You can’t just run off a bad diet “later” – no matter how many flying ponies you chase. I’d say good thing it’s only here for a few days. I’d say treat yo’self while it’s here. But that’s the problem with refined sugar. The desire for it doesn’t just disappear. Once your brain gets a taste for it, it’ll start seeking it elsewhere – and regularly. That’s why this flying stallion’s just a a sparkly gateway drug to everything else you’ve been wisely avoiding up until now in the name of weight loss. Don’t be fooled. This beautiful horned horse’ll morph into a sugary dragon you’ll soon be chasing, while decrying the cruel scale’s readout.

But don’t worry. ’cause I definitely don’t mean to rain on your parade without following up with a rainbow substitute of our own we can sip guiltlessly. See, I’m just like you. I wanna be enjoying pretty colored concoctions, as well. But what if I told you we didn’t have to fit in exactly? What if I told you, we could be even better? What if we could enjoy all this visual and literal deliciousness – and feel good too? And keep from packing on the pounds?

I got you, girl.

Or, at least the creator of this plant based rainbow smoothie does:


First, we’ve got all natural sugar sources from stuff like bananas, watermelon, and mango. That means it’s sweet, while delivering only the sugar levels we do need (to avoid that awful crash later – or pack in as much fat). Second, that means that we’ll actually have the energy to work off what we’ve taken in – because we won’t suffer that blood sugar drop. Third, all that real food means the the sodium levels are far lower than what the mermaid cafe’s packing in their unicorn cup. And, finally, with coconut oil and vegan whipped cream, you’re finally getting the good kind of fat – versus all that saturated fat the frapp from ‘bucks offers.

Pretty colors? Real fruit with unrefined sugar?

A healthy, delectable, and schmexy looking beverage that stands out from the crowd?

Now that’s a legit unicorn.

#diet#fitness#weight loss foods#weight loss tips

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