Fitness articles: why relying on the title alone makes you fat

December 5, 2016 Ashley 0 Comments

“Liquor makes you skinny!”

It can be tempting to see a fitness article with this title and run with it.

No clicking the link. No reading the article. Just hit that share button and take it to heart yourself.

I remember exactly that happening with exactly that topic, long ago. I also remember subsquently rebutting the claim (with actual proof – pardon the pun) that daily shots of Tequila, of all things, can help you drop weight. They absolutely don’t. (Unless you count regurgitating up your gastric contents.) And now, another bit of very similar, insufficiently researched minsinformation is floating around. The fable from sharers of this tale? That procsecco and champagne are good for your overall health as well.

But don’t get me wrong. It’s not the fault of the University of Redding researchers that kept getting cited in the actual articles. If you actually click on any of these articles harboring the “X,Y, and Z make you healthier” title, you’ll see the truth for yourself. (Usually.) The headline’s only meant to be clickbait. Problem is, people are either hip to that or too lazy to read more than Twitter length info. Thus, they just share what they’ve gleaned from the troll-y title, and misinform all their friends. Back here in reality, however, the Redding folks’ only claim was that the polyphenols (which happen to be in champagne) harbor antioxidant properties which are indeed health-helpful – from a cardiovascular view. It’s the same excuse you hear from dark chocolate gobblers or goblet guzzling winos. And what makes polyphenols so great? Well, what they do is regulate nitric oxide removal in your blood better so that your blood flow and pressure also improve. The result? First, massive damage control’s done on your dermal layers ’til you have glistening skin. But it also does a bunch of other wonderful things with respect to memory and mood. And that’s all vital for holistic fitness and weight loss. After all, it’s tough to stay motivated or treat yourself well (instead’ve just “treatin’ yoself”) when you’re depressed or anxious.

And that’s all great. It’s all true. But, while it might still be helpful for circulation in champagne form, it’s not necessarily healthy for all around fitness – and definitely not for weight loss. Go ahead. Google the calorie count in your cabernet and moet. Check how much sugar is in it too. I’ll wait. I’ll also wait for you to get honest with yourself about how much more you eat when you’re drinking, too. Or how much you feel like hitting the gym the next day. Weight loss friendly? I think not… So, while polyphenols are definitely great, the question is: is bubbly really the way we should be getting it? Especially since it counteracts stuff like the healthy skin by drying it out? Instead of, say, satiating flax meal that staves off cravings and keeps you full?

Does the fact that liver littering libations have something good in them… make them good?

I mean, I like lemon in my tea. And there’s lemon in my organic household cleaner.

But I don’t, ya know, put it in my tea.

(“True story”…*raises eyebrows convincingly and holds up cup o’ Clorox*)

The answer is: no.

Sadly, we’ve gotta look at the bigger picture. Alcohol can and will still stymie your fitness progress – if you overdo it. Trust me: I hate to play the buzzkill pixie. But it’s true. (What’s that the kids say? “It is what it is”…?) Don’t worry. I’m not saying we all have to stop drinking. The research did suggest a small amount daily can be helpful (for stuff like circulation, though, not weight loss.). But what I am saying is that not all the headlines we read are legit. And, keeping that in mind, until further research is done, the current consensus suggests that if we wanna retain the rewards of the fitness path we’re traveling… we should pop a cork. Not outta the bottle – but in our own champagne guzzling face caves – after one glass each week.

Hey, maybe we can spend that time actually reading the articles, instead’ve simply upchucking the titles.