Can you make fast food orders healthy?

October 22, 2016 Ashley 0 Comments

It’s no surprise that fast food’s no good for you.

Between the sugar, fat, grease, hyperpalatable flavorings, and low nutritional value that collectively collaborate to keep you coming back for more… it’s a lose-lose situation that makes you lose at weight loss. That’s bad enough. But, while you’d expect that from a double decker tower of cow parts and bread, you wouldn’t think to expect it from the “diet” or “healthy eater” menu.

This just in from the-more-you-know headquarters, though: you totally should.

(Let’s Taco-bout how many calories are in this fiesta bowl.)

See, I learned something when I started being more social.

And that’s that the price of being pals with unhealthy friends is that they tend to look at their bodies like somatic landfills. That’s fine. I’m not here to judge. But, that also means that when they go to stock up on tasty trash fodder for their bodies, I’m often dragged along. And that means I have to order something from McDumpster fire. Typically, I stick with something “healthy”. But even when you try to order something that seems like it’s not got bullet train tickets to your rear, it usually does. Something lurking somewhere in that meal’s bound to eff you up. That’s why you’ve gotta get L.A. girl style annoying with it and tweak your order until it’s so vexing they expectorate in it out of spite.

“Ummmm… I’ll have the salad. Without the dressing. Or meat. Or veggies. Or lettuce. Thx.”
“So, you’d like an empty plastic bin?”
“Yes, exactly that. Probably the healthiest thing you’ve got here.”

So, over time (and over a few weeks worth of “WTF-is-this-happening” oscillations in weight), I’ve discovered the fast food hacks to eating healthy. The first thing? To make it infrequent. Maybe I concede that this’ll be my cheat day and make sure it doesn’t happen again for another seven healthy sunups and sundowns. Second option? Don’t order much at all. If you’re like me (there because someone’s insisted it) and if they’re the kind’ve person who doesn’t mind dining solo while you’re in their presence, sipping some agua, then just do that. (And, obviously, eat something healthy later on at home). And the final thing? If you absolutely hafta eat something from a fast food joint? Get super annoying with your order. Get the salad – but with none’ve the greasy meat or chubby-fying dressing or carmelized pecans. (And then, order two, because we both know one’s not enough.) Or, if you get said fiesta bowl (from the image above), nix the sour cream, cheese, meat, and tortilla bowl. You’ll still have the rice, beans, lettuce, and veggies. But between the calories and fat in the sour cream, cheese, greasy meat, and that massive bowl – you’ll’ve taken care of over half the caloric dietary sabotage the OG order harbors.

That said, there are some things that’re just better made at home. Case in point? The oatmeal from McD’s. Sounds like it’d be healthy, doesn’t it? But the ugly truth’s that it’s actually packing 32 grams of the bad-for-you sugar. Not the healthy fruit kind – but the kind that has you crashing in a couple hours (because: blood sugar) and ultimately manifests as fat in your body. Besides, I finally found out how it actually looks and I’ve gotta ask: who wants to eat this mystery slop fruit chowder anyway?

(Fun fact: time in drive thru line ≥ time spent prepping something at home that won’t amplify your azz’s diameter)

And it’s not just the drive-through places you’ve gotta worry about, either.

Enter: my new addiction, Tropical Smoothie. The proverbial wolf wearing wool. This place – with its kalecoladas and supercharged health supplements – sounds like a dream come true. And, granted, it totally can be. That’s if you know how to fine tune your smoothie requests. I, for the first few weeks (and pounds) of frequenting it, did not. The result? A painful scale battle that ended only when I heard a coworker issue the magically rhetorical inquiry, “You know you can sub in Splenda instead’ve sugar – or have neither at all, right?” Making that one minor revision in my order made all the difference for me. Within the same amount’ve time as I’d gained the weight, I dropped it right back to the el-bee hell from whence it came.

In sum?

Do your research. Know which foods to avoid altogether. (Like the oatmeals and things that come with the sugar pre-built into it). And know which meals you can have the kitchen perform pre-eating damage control on before it hits your tummy organ. For the most part (excepting those rare occasion “cheat days”), I say strip those orders down to the bare, green necessities.

That, or just fast when it comes to fast food – and enjoy a f’real meal later at home.

’cause we all know the most legit happy meal’s the one that helps you reach your weight loss goals.