Can being your own best friend make you lose weight?
February 24, 2017 Ashley 0 Comments
Ever pause to listen to the vile lines running through your own head?
The stuff you say about yourself – to yourself?
(“Of course I talk to myself, dahling. Sometimes I need professional advice…”)
Not many of us do. We’re not even aware we’re experiencing self talk. But, guess what? Anytime you sit in front’ve the mirror and have a self sorority haze party of one – gripping at your inner thighs, or poking at your proboscis – you’re doing exactly that. You leave, feeling kinda shizzy. And why? Because you spend the rest of the day wondering if that guy who said “I just don’t wanna date anyone right now” (right before dating another girl) rejected you cuzza your thin hair or not-thin-enough pins. That’s a whole tragedy happening solely in your brain. It wouldn’t have even crossed your mind if not for that internal, inimical dialogue you’d just issued the reflective surface in the loo earlier.
Alright, alright. So maybe you can admit it now. You’re just as bad as the rest’ve ’em.
So, what do you do about it?
Well, I recently saw this pretty powerful video of two besties reading their own self talk out loud, to one another. What they discovered was astonishing. See, they had no qualms about the montage of awful commentary treading through their own heads all day. Yet, they couldn’t stomach the pain it placed in eachother’s eyes, when it was directed at someone they cherished. The takeaway of the video? Simple. Talk to yourself they way you would your bestie, duh.
Now, if you’re a critical thinker like I am, you might’ve thought the same thing I did initially:
“Yeah, but… I tell white lies to my best friend, sometimes.”
For example, if you’ve been slaving away at the gym and eating clean and I know you’re not cheating but you’ve reached a weight loss plateau, then hell yeah, I’mma tell you you look thinner. (For the record, last time I did this to a friend, homegirl stayed the course and lost a good five pounds by the next time I saw her.) So, that’s me being dishonest, right? My mind can’t be fooled like that. How can I trick myself?
Well, as it turns out, quite easily.
In fact, it’s the same way hypnotists and self help affirmations work.
That’s when I realized why this method works so well in application. Sure, in theory it sounds like a fail-athon waiting to happen. But, actually, that “best friend white lie”, when applied to yourself, is tantamount to a positive affirmation. You tell yourself you’re beautiful and do beautiful things enough, and soon people get sucked into your vortex. It’s that aura – that glow. They’re drawn to it, like art, a Hawaiian sunset, or any other number of beautiful things. Or, maybe you tell yourself enough that you’re getting slender – and you keep ellipticaling or treadmilling ’til you legit are. Or maybe you tell yourself enough mid Crossfit squat sesh that you’ve got a booty fit for a Brazilian model competish, and soon enough, you do; that thing’s bubbling up like the bog from the Labyrinth before you know it. It’s affirmation. Just like the ones you listen to to convince yourself you’re grateful, happy, or serene (when you start out the exact opposite of all’a that), until you authentically are. And the thing is, it doesn’t mean lying about the bad stuff. It doesn’t mean saying, “No, sweetie, your face isn’t fat RN”. (Especially when your mug resembles a potato made’ve putty). Nope. And it’s not saying, “No, your backfat’s not being suffocated by your bra straps”. (Especially when the hooks clasping shut your boulder holder look like the fingertips in “The Creation of Adam”.) It’s not about boldfaced lies.
(Protip: it’s not about this, either.)
In fact, the key’s to avoid the “not’s” and the “no’s” and the flaw-focus altogether.
Your brain knows better. You try that shiz and it’ll go full Blair Waldorf (chick in picture above) on you. Rather, what it is, is redirecting from that, focusing on the good you’ve got in progress, while you work toward getting it 100%. Because your brain can believe it’s accessible and happening if it knows you’re legitimately working to get it. It’s not a lie. You’re working to eradicate the changeable “flaws” – until those “flaws” aren’t flaws anymore. And, the end result’s that you’re so fit ‘n felicitous, inside out, that your other unchangeable perceived flaws simply fizzle into non-issues. They pale in comparison to what you’ve evolved into – which is something so awesome, that you start hearing those internal compliments confirmed externally from others– not just your well meaning bestie.
So, my weight loss minded lovies, if you wanna be gleeful and shed flesh, then be your own BFF.